Rule No. 1

There are some basic rules in my relationship that must not be broken. The brevity of the rule and the degree to which it is the degree to which I break it dictates how I am punished. Here's one rule I struggle with more than others:

"You are not to give orders. Sentences that begin with verbs are orders."

Now here's a bit about that rule. It was created for me by my master. He is even so kind that he explained exactly why the rule was made. To understand it you have to know about my mother. Let me get right to the point and say that she is more than a little bossy. She's not a control freak so much as she doesn't consciously realize that people might be able to do things appropriately of their own accord. She also has Multiple Sclerosis. I'm not going to get into the details of it, because I doubt I'll talk about my mom frequently here. However, my theory is that her bossiness was at least doubled by her fear of losing mobility and perhaps doubled once more just by virtue of her being an aging Jewish lady.

Now you know I'm Jewish on my mother's side too! See how fun this can be?

Anyway, back to the context of the "no verbs" rule, as I think of it. This rule is very tricky, since the simplest concepts of being are ruled linguistically by VERBS. But more on my struggle with it in a moment... the rule was created because my master wants me to be the best me I can be. The me I dream of being.

I have lots of dreams. I make them into goals or stories. I work hard and I'm training to work more efficiently so I can realize even more of those dreams. One of my dreams is to be ready to market myself as a healer. I want to market myself so that more people, who are looking, can find me and come get healing. I suppose one of the things I believe I need to do in order to achieve this goal more fully is get more training at listening. In order to listen to others more intentionally, I must first listen to myself. I must speak with intention and cut out the bossy sharp edge in me.

Here comes some of my soon-to-be-famous wisdom

Bossiness is a behavior born of fear. People are bossy because they don't believe that they will be satisfied -- that they will receive enough. They have a fear of there not being enough for them. Fears, unexamined, become behaviors.

Let's counter that. Love, becomes behavior too. Most of us, in culture "these days", are not trained to be running on the fuel of love. We have very little love inside ourselves that we didn't have to consciously grow. I mean, of our own accord. Intentionally. Fear, however, we are fed practically as soon as we are sucking our new mama's teat. I don't mean to sound dramatic about it or anything, but think about it? Can any of you who read anything anywhere argue with me?

I wish you would.

It makes sense that a slave would have rules. It's the basic premise of slavery that decision making is out of the slave's hands. Why would I choose such a life? Well that, my friend is a very good question.